Why is it that when we are faced with a breakup we automatically take it personally and feel rejected? Why do we stare into the mirror and try to find things we can do to change our outer appearance? Why do we even feel we need to change anything? Maybe the connection just wasn’t right or meant to be. Maybe the other person just doesn’t know how to value what they have and would rather enjoy the neighbors grass.
We are all very beautiful souls. Out outer image is just the shell we live within so now matter what someone tells us we need to change or what we wish look different....we are perfect just as we are. No need for a hair cut or color change, don't need to lose or gain any weight, no need or plastic surgery or fake anything....be real...be you...the you that God has meant for you to be. Be you and be happy to be you. Don't let someone else's choice not to love you be a reason to want to be something or someone different.
There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing at all. Don't every let someone else ever make you think that there is. If you can take a step back and do some real self inventory on your own then you are better off seeing the things about yourself that really do need some focus because they are choices you are making for yourself. Not something someone else is telling you to do or making you feel you need. Self-inventory is difficult. It is hell...hell smeared in your own face....sometimes over and over. However, the outcome is amazing and make the pain and fear and anxiety all so worth it.
I have found myself learning to take self-inventory anytime something is going on in my life that I am not happy with. Whether it be my relationship, work, school, kids....no matter what it is, if it is causing me stress or pain or just that not okay feeling then I take a moment to reflect. I am learning to not dwell on the negative or what someone else' part is in it. Instead I refocus my thoughts on what is my part? Where did I go wrong? What do I need to change? How can I fix my part of things? I can I take this moment and learn from it to better myself for myself.
Being able to really admit to our faults, weaknesses or issues is hard. Being able to take responsibility for our part in our own pain sucks. Sometimes it feels like we are saying that we made the pain so we must deserve it. Nope! We are human. We are learning. We are growing. Being able to say "woah....I did what? why the heck did I say that? Oh damn I need to make some changes...." That is strength. That is beauty. Sure someone else may have had a part, maybe even a huge part in what happened and for causing us pain...but ultimately we can't change them, who they are, what they did or even if they feel sorry for any of it. All we can do it take care of ourselves.
Often times as I take self inventory, which lately seems to be daily, I reflect to God. I ask him for the strength to let down my own walls to myself. I pray for strength to burry my ego and pride and to really dig within myself to better myself. I have come to a point where I actually seem to crave self-inventory because it gives me a sense of power and control over the only gosh darn thing I have control over...MYSELF! Being a codependent I seem to desire some aspect of control and not being able to control situations or other people often would stress me out, big time. But now I just focus on controlling myself and having power to change myself and ...pow....I feel better. Little by little it gets easier. While I still feel a great deal of pain in many situations, I see myself looking within, taking responsibility and making changes to better myself and value myself more.
Life is too short to dwell. We only have so long on this planet. We cant waste even a precious day sulking in the pain that we might feel someone else has caused us. No need wasting your breathe talking bad about someone or blaming them. No use wasting our energy trying to get them to see where THEY hurt us. Instead, put all that energy into yourself. You want to feel better. You want to be better. You want to be free of all the negative….so focus on YOU and make it better. Duh, doesn’t it just sound so true and like a real common sense revelation? Yes it does however I lived in the dark for most my life and I am sure most of society does. It is so easy to hide in other’s shadows and blame them for all our pain and sorrow. Why would we want to look at our own issues? Yikes, how scary. But in reality, it is beautiful because it means we are growing and changing and loving ourselves enough to grow up. lol.
I AM Beautiful! I do deserve love! I am me and I am okay!
Love you all….because you all deserve love. We all do. Every single one of us. No matter who you are or what you have done….you deserve love. Tell yourself that right now! and now….believe it! You will be ok. I send you love and light and angels to help you through the journey….just don’t forget to send it out to others as well, even back to me. XOXO